Pen on Paper 09.01.2020


BY Asif

So you are meeting ‘the guy or girl’ for the first official date. Anticipation is high and you have all these questions in your head: are you going to click? is the chemistry going to be hot? Well, let’s hope it’s all that and more. We at PAPER help you get it right:

Wardrobe Woes

For Her

First ask yourself, ‘Am i more comfortable in shalwar kameez or western clothes?’. This is not the day to experiment in your choice. Don’t wear a shalwar kameez if you cannot handle a dupatta, and don’t wear tights if your legs are a little overweight. If you are still practising walking in high heels, then don’t try them out now. Nothing is worse than a fumbling girl! Guys generally don’t really care about brands. Men are not big fans of baggy clothes, so avoid the tent and harem pants unless you are skinny and tall. Instead opt for something form- fitting, subtly sexy and stylish. Nothing beats a well fitted pair of jeans with a top in a colour you have received the most compliments in.

White or black are safe bets. Don’t have a plunging cleavage, but show some skin on arms or shoulders. It’s also good to get a boy’s opinion on your wardrobe. Ask your girly girl boy pal or a friend who can be totally honest with you.Wear subtle make up and avoid dark lipsticks; boys like natural looking girls with little or practically no make up. For hair, go for a natural and groomed look. Over-ironed poker straight, or frizzy and untamed hair is definitely out.  Avoid back-combed, teased and stiff hair which not only looks artificial but may end up giving the poor guy a bad case of paper cut if he was to touch your hair.  Smell nice, put please remember that too much perfume is nauseating. Don’t pile on the accessories. Stick to a nice watch and small elegant earrings. Remember, ‘less is more’ at all times.

For Him

These days, men can no longer afford to look messy. On a first date a man should dress to impress. Women judge a man on his appearance and what you wear could make or break your first date. Remember that your date is likely spending hours selecting an outfit, so it wouldn’t hurt to spend more than two seconds looking for a shirt from the “clean” pile on your floor. Dress according to where you’re going. Avoid very flashy colours and loud prints. Labelled shirts and chunky branded emblems are also very tacky. Keep it simple and wear a freshly laundered shirt with a well fitted pair of jeans. We believe in one golden rule: no matter how casual your destination might be, looking clean, crisp and put together can never hurt. A nice watch and classic shoes will also go a long way and are one of the first thing, a woman notices.

Basic grooming is a must for the first date. Don’t show up looking scruffy, with a big beard. Get a cut or a trim and please shave. Pay attention to your hands and nails. A manicure or a facial is not a girlie thing anymore and says a lot about your personal hygiene. A great smell can make a lasting impression, so always wear deoderant and perfume. Smell like a man and use a cologne like Cartier eau de toilette.

Coffee, Lunch or Dinner?

Coffee,lunch or dinner on a first date involve exactly the same thing. It’s simply a chance for two people to speak face to face for the first time and get to know one another.  Dinner doesn’t mean anything more serious at such an early stage. But time is of the essence. Coffee is shorter and more casual than lunch, and dinner can be more intense and longer. So for the first date always push for coffee rather than lunch or dinner. In case the person turns out to be boring, you will not have to sit through it for a long time. Coffee dates can be ended at your own leisure. (And of course you can pull the friend emergency card) If, however, you both feel comfortable and click, then you can always continue the date by going for lunch or dinner later on.

Talking Points

So now that you look and feel great, what kind of conversation are you going to have? Do you have similar interests? We are assuming that this is what has led to the date. If you are both interested in each other it will be apparent in the first fifteen minutes.

You will notice however that conversations at times will be slow on a first date. You both don’t know much about each other and have no previous history so it can be difficult to find things to talk about. But if you can overcome the first awkward silences, rest assured you are on your way to a comfortable conversation.

Keep it simple and neutral. Talk about hobbies, education, passions (what motivates the person) and career.  Avoid discussions on previous relationships and stay away from the M word. Make eye contact to see if you want to keep on looking!  Talking in the other direction or looking away shows lack of interest. Keep the mood light and try to make the other person laugh, but don’t act like a clown as it can be embarrassing. Avoid long winded one-sided conversation and boasting or showing off. First impressions do last. It’s a fact that your first date can determine whether you will ever see that person again or not. Be yourself and be confident at all times.

Pay Up

The man should ALWAYS pay. It’s about showing respect towards the girl and keeping your values intact. After the first date take a back seat and wait for things to unfold. We would not advise you to call right the next morning but leave it until the following night or even the next day. Adding the other person on Facebook or sending them an SMS the next day saying if you’ve had a good time is a sign of encouragement that you want to proceed further.

Do Not…

• You should NEVER try to kiss someone on the first date. Always plan out date in advance and make sure you give the other person the right type of an environment which will help you build understanding and attraction towards each other.

• Sexual innuendo, staring at the other person in a way that makes them uncomfortable should be avoided.

• Don’t steer towards personal questions as it might get too heavy for a first date. Keep your conversation light and easy and definitely don’t talk more than the girl. Give her a chance to talk as well. After all how else would you get to know each other better?

• A few drinks might help you relax during the date, but remember to take small sips and not gulp the whole drink down. Being a drunken loser is never a turn on.

Great Expectations

This is not an Indian movie, where there is a moment with background music. The only moment you can expect to have on a first date is to realize whether you want the next date or not. If you like one another and seem to click, tell the other person you had fun and would like to do this again soon. Compliment her and ask for her number if you want to keep in touch but don’t be too keen. Personal space should be kept in mind. If all goes well, maybe a kiss on the cheek, or a hug to say goodbye is suitable.